The time I have with Deston is so precious to me. Every single second is a blessing, but I confess that I especially love the times just before naps and bedtime when I sit and rock him to sleep. He usually has to study every little blemish on my face and ask, "Que es eso?" and I answer, then he will rub my face with his little soft baby hands and tell me that I am his mommy and he is my baby, and lastly I sing to him how much I love him.
We have been doing this for 4 out of 5 weeks because the first week he fought me and did not want me to hold him AT ALL. Then a wall fell, that wall of fear. He feared letting his heart be broken again and slowly allowed me to enter the territory of his pain. We still occasionally will visit the territory of pain, but it is much less frequently these days. And tonight, another wall fell and he submitted himself to rejection by asking if he could nurse.
The idea of nursing is still not completely acceptable in the United States, but here in Nicaragua, women bear all to nourish their babies and nobody batts an eye. For a few seconds, I wondered if it was "appropriate", then I feared my older children would not understand, then I submitted to the nurture of my newest little baby. It is a sweet time for us. It is a time when I let him know that I am his mother in every way a mother should be to her baby and it is his way to say, I accept you as my Mommy. I cherish every second knowing that it will not last forever, but I am enjoying my baby today.
Adopted children are so much like a newborn no matter what age they come into your family. It is still so important to follow all the little bonding rituals that you would a newborn; feeding them, bathing them, rocking them, singing to them, eye contact, and even comfort nursing.
I know this topic is taboo, but for those of us adopting these little angels, it is important to share all the facts and support each other in the journey. I, for one, am so thankful that the Lord has allowed me to be Deston's mommy.
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Monday, September 9, 2013
How the journey started
I knew I wanted more kids after my youngest turned two. I had an overwhelming urge and searched for any way possible to add to our family on a limited budget. Fast forward, one foster care license, one foster disaster, and Mark had completely slammed the door shut on adoption.
I prayed for God to either take the desire away from me or change Mark's heart and praise God He changed Mark's heart.
I was following a blog for an adoptive mom and she was headed to Nicaragua for a mission trip and it intrigued me. Then our church went on a mission trip to Nica and went to the same orphanage that my blogger friend was visiting. When the mission team came back, they ran to me at church and told me that they had been talking to Chris Bagwell about me all week and how easy it is to adopt from Nica.
I had also been working with a local lady making dolls for the children of Nicaragua with Sabree. How funny that even then, God was preparing us for our adoption.
We started the adoption process with Christian Adoption Services (CAS) and started the monumental load of paperwork. This is not for the faint of heart. It took me 3 months to get all the documentation in order because we had to get clearances from North Carolina and Virginia.
God sized problems:
Our home equity loan was denied, we fasted and prayed for two days and the bank called us and asked to do another appraisal. Praise God!
Our marriage certificate from Jamaica could not be apostilled. It took 4 weeks to order new certificates and have them authenticated by the Jamaican embassy. Praise God!
But the most remarkable part of this journey is that God has provided a friend, who also homeschools, who is in our Sunday school class, co-op, and our friend to walk this journey with me. Her little girl and our Deston are in the same orphanage and are friends. You can't make up a better situation. I am thrilled that we will be able to travel to Nicaragua together.
Another "God moment" is that Chris Bagwell came back to the states and spent the night with us one night in May. It is incredible that she was able to see where Deston will be living, see his room, and get to know his new family. Again, you can't write a better story.
Now we wait, hopefully only another two weeks and we will have our little boy in our arms. I am so grateful and thankful for the Lord's wonderful provision in every step of this journey. I am so thankful and grateful for the Bagwells and their love for these children and for us. My cup runneth over.
I prayed for God to either take the desire away from me or change Mark's heart and praise God He changed Mark's heart.
I was following a blog for an adoptive mom and she was headed to Nicaragua for a mission trip and it intrigued me. Then our church went on a mission trip to Nica and went to the same orphanage that my blogger friend was visiting. When the mission team came back, they ran to me at church and told me that they had been talking to Chris Bagwell about me all week and how easy it is to adopt from Nica.
I had also been working with a local lady making dolls for the children of Nicaragua with Sabree. How funny that even then, God was preparing us for our adoption.
We started the adoption process with Christian Adoption Services (CAS) and started the monumental load of paperwork. This is not for the faint of heart. It took me 3 months to get all the documentation in order because we had to get clearances from North Carolina and Virginia.
God sized problems:
Our home equity loan was denied, we fasted and prayed for two days and the bank called us and asked to do another appraisal. Praise God!
Our marriage certificate from Jamaica could not be apostilled. It took 4 weeks to order new certificates and have them authenticated by the Jamaican embassy. Praise God!
But the most remarkable part of this journey is that God has provided a friend, who also homeschools, who is in our Sunday school class, co-op, and our friend to walk this journey with me. Her little girl and our Deston are in the same orphanage and are friends. You can't make up a better situation. I am thrilled that we will be able to travel to Nicaragua together.
Another "God moment" is that Chris Bagwell came back to the states and spent the night with us one night in May. It is incredible that she was able to see where Deston will be living, see his room, and get to know his new family. Again, you can't write a better story.
Now we wait, hopefully only another two weeks and we will have our little boy in our arms. I am so grateful and thankful for the Lord's wonderful provision in every step of this journey. I am so thankful and grateful for the Bagwells and their love for these children and for us. My cup runneth over.
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